The worst of having a baby in a foreign country.

Sorry, again, this is being updated in August, almost 5 months after the boys arrived.

Sorry for having been gone so long but we have been enjoying our new family.

Benjamin and Nathan are both over 3 kilos now.  They are doing what babies are supposed to do.  They eat, sleep and poop.  They are spending a few more minutes each day awake so that we can see their beautiful eyes.  I think they are already smiling but it is not yet possible.

We have been working on entries describing the birth and the days after but I thought I would share the worst moment of the birth.

They boys were born at 1056 and 1058.  We were told that they would be allowed to spend an hour with us before they were to be taken upstairs.  As we were sitting in the delivery room holding the boys, Benjamin developed a slight rasp to his breath.  Our midwife said that he probably had fluid in his lungs and that it would take time to work its way through his system.  During this hour the staff told us that Julia would stay in the delivery room until 1300 and then be taken upstairs to her room.

At 1200 the staff came and put the boys in a cart to take them to the neonatal unit.  We told them that I wanted to go with the boys.  They did not say that this would be a problem.  We then left and took the elevator to the second floor.  When we reached the neonatal unit they then told me that I would not be able to enter for 20 minutes as they needed to run tests and prepare the room.  Feeling frustrated that they had not bothered to tell me this before I left my wife in the delivery room I decided to return to the delivery and wait with Julia.  I returned to the first floor only to discover that the door to the maternity area was locked with a secure keypad.  I waited a few minutes but no one entered or departed through the door so I decided to return to the waiting area outside the neonatal unit.

After waiting the required twenty minutes I pushed the button and they let me in. Being extremely tired I failed to notice the signs that I needed to wear protective clothing.  As I started to walk down the hall and very frantic nurse came yelling toward me to return to the entrance and don protective clothing.  I was then taken to the nursery where I was shocked to find only Nathan.  Luckily a nurse spoke passable English and was able to inform me that Benjamin had been taken to the intensive neo-natal unit and that I would not be able to see him until his status had stabilized.  Needless to say my heart rate and blood pressure rose exponentially. She told me that the problem was not life threatening but that he was having problems breathing.  This was occurring around 1230.  I sat down and held Nathans hand through the incubator.  He was responsive and alert.  It was distressing to see your newborn son with tubes attached to his nose and monitors placed all around.

For the next hour I constantly asked about Benjamin and was told that he was okay but that I was not allowed to see him yet.  By now it was about 1330 and I was also beginning to become anxious about Julia. I had been told that she would stay in the delivery room for about an hour before being brought upstairs to see the boys. If that timetable had held she should have arrived or be arriving soon.

Around 1345 an intern, who spoke some English, came to take me to see Benjamin.  It broke my heart to have to leave Nathan but I was overwhelmed with worry and guilt concerning Benjamin.  As I walked into the intensive care neo-natal unit that held Benjamin I almost fell to the ground.  There were two nurses and one doctor hovering over his incubator.  He had at least 4 tubes and  monitors connected to his 2.5 kilo body.  His incubator was a boiling 36 celsius.  The new staff did not speak English and all I was able to understand was okay and not urgent.

The staff left me alone with Benjamin and I sat holding his tiny little hand in mine with my mind racing between Benjamin in front of me, Nathan in his own unit and worrying about my wife who should have arrived by now.  About 1430 a nurse entered the room and I was able to communicate to her that my wife was missing and that I needed to find her.  I was able to have her take me to a phone and call Julia's cell.  I have to admit at this point in time that I had done a very stupid thing.  When Julia's water broke I had taken my phone and plugged it in top charge so that the battery would not die during the time at the hospital.  Unfortunately, during the rush to leave the house I forgot my phone.

I used the phone to call Julia's cell and my call immediately went into voice mail.  Of course, the nurse had walked away while I was waiting for the call to connect.  After this I returned to Benjamin's room as I was unable to find any staff in the ICU neo-natal.  After a few minutes a male doctor entered the room and thankfully he spoke some english. He told me that Benjamin was having respiratory problems but that it was nothing to be concerned about.  After feeling re-assured about Benjamin's condition my thoughts settled on Julia.  I told the doctor what I had been told about Julia and that she should be with the boys by now.  He, in typical french style, said "Yes, she should be here" and he turned and left the room.

At this point I was mentally and physically drained. I made the decision to leave Benjamin alone and returned to the neo-natal unit to see Nathan and the english speaking Nurse.  When I found the nurse and explained to her the situation she immediately grabbed another nurse and had her take me down to the delivery room where I was shocked and relieved to see Julia laying back on the delivery table.  I pushed my way into her room and told her that Nathan was okay but the Benjamin was in ICU.  She immediately began screaming for a nurse to take her to the ICU.  Please understand that this now nearly 4 hours after the birth of our twins.

A few minutes later I was pushing Julia into the ICU neo-natal and with communication established we were able to ascertain that Benjamin was not in danger but they were just being cautious.  It was  then that we had to make the difficult decision to part as Julia stayed with Benjamin, due to being able to communicate with the staff, and I returned to Nathan's side.

It was only later that Julia finally told me that the english speaking nurse told her that she had never felt sorrier for a new father than when she saw me come back fro the ICU.  I have never felt so helpless and torn.  Who was my priority? My newborn son in ICU or my wife who may have been in the delivery room hemorraging  blood.

Of course, the next 5 days were extremely trying as we had to balance two newborn twins in separate neo-natal units with maintaining our connection with Samuel.  All of that will covered in another post which I promise will not take another 5 months to write.