There is something very bittersweet about being a working Mum. Last night, as soon as Samuel saw me walk through the door, he turned towards me, stopped fussing and started laughing. It is very reassuring to know that maybe he misses me (ok... well maybe just his food source!) as much as I miss him during the day. It must be hard for Dave to be ignored when I walk into the room - but then I am sure that during the day Samuel smiles and laughs at him probably even more. I just hope that I don't miss too much of Samuel's development while I am at work. Last night we saw him reach out for the first time for something other than his favorite toy. It was just a piece of paper on the side of the table, but he was contorting himself in his bouncy seat and reaching out to try to get hold of it. When I moved it a bit closer to him, he grabbed it and was so pleased with himself that he was laughing and waving the paper around... before scrunching it up and twisting it into unrecognizable shapes (note to ourselves: we're in trouble... things may no longer be safe around our growing boy!). [Edit: I just noticed when I posted this that Dave posted an update on Samuel today also - see below :-)]
Work itself is going fine. It's getting very busy as I've now learned enough about the role and the business to have a clear idea of what I want to do - and there is a lot to do. It will be a demanding job as the business is not in great shape and while there are a lot of tangible things I can do, most of these require the help of a lot of other people - and I will need to both get their support to new ways of working and help to change the overall culture. The hardest thing is to find the time to do everything that I want to do. I want to spend all the time I can with my son. I want to have time to enjoy my life with Dave. I want to invest the time in my work to get great results... because the best results also help take care of my family. But there is never enough time in a day to do all of these things, and sleep certainly suffers as it is the lowest priority.
It is quite a shock to move from a US work culture to a French one - even if they are part of the same multi-national company. France seems more formal and more hierarchy-conscious than what I was used to in the US. On the one hand that means they are better-dressed (!) - on the other this means that there is much less of a sense of 'team' and of 'fun' / good-humoured casual banter when we work together. They are also very intellectual... very focused on understanding the detail of things, enjoy having a debate about it (in great detail), and want to have everything perfect before moving forward. It does not seem to come naturally to them to confront the harsh reality of things, figure out the top few things we need to do to improve it, and get on with doing something about it ASAP. I have to figure out how to get to a good mix of adapting myself to the culture here but also adapt the culture to one that I believe is most productive.
I've already been to Geneva a couple of times for work. It's hard to leave Dave and Samuel, but it also makes me realize how lucky we are that we are able to have one of us be a stay at home parent. My functional boss is a woman who is just recently getting divorced and she clearly has some significant struggles to manage the care needs for her elementary-school aged children. I am still managing to breast-feed Samuel - and take the time during the day to pump while at work. The great thing is that I am able to do it hands-free... so I can work at my laptop at the same time! It isn't easy though - I sometimes have to walk out of meetings or try to fit it in quickly between things. It's also quite unusual in France to have someone breastfeeding for so long (only 53% of French women do, and most of them stop after 3 months) - so they probably think I'm quite strange! I have to admit that while I will miss feeding Samuel it will definitely make life a bit easier at work.
It has been fun seeing all of my old friends from Europe again at work. At these meetings in Geneva I keep bumping in to people that I haven't seen in years - many of whom I got to know in different countries. It will also be great to start to see more of our friends again - now that we have moved in and the hotel is open for business! Bookings are coming in... so we wait to hear from you!
